Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Alton Brown
Featured in Brian's Belly
October 7, 2003

By Belly Buddy David Lauterbach

An off-broadway theater is filled to capacity with over 100 New Yorkers who have each paid $85 to see a show. The star of the one-man production is witty, smart and entertaining. He doesn't follow a script, just an outline--preferring to ad-lib and improvise his way through the evening using various props on the stage. Two hours later, the audience is still enthralled by the side-splitting entertainment; but the show must come to an end, and the humble star shakes every hand in the audience... and sure, why not, autographs for everyone.

This scenario could easily have been a "one night only" appearance by the likes of comedian Robin Williams, but it is certainly not like any other show by any other chef. As clever as I try to be, you've already guessed that I am talking about Alton Brown (what gave it away? The title? The photo?). His cooking class at De Gustibus at Macy's Herald Square did not disappoint anyone--Alton had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand.

But compare Alton to a comedian? Why not? He has been called a scientist, a Home-Ec teacher and an artist... he may just as well be a prop comic. Just don't call him a nutritional anthropologist.

Alton Brown is the creator, writer and host of "Good Eats," a cooking show that is currently beginning its seventh season on Food Network. But to simply call it a cooking show does a disservice to all the hard work, research and dedication that goes into every single second of production. "Good Eats" is a sketch & variety show that tricks you into learning things you never thought you wanted to know.

If you've never seen the show about one man's quest to understand food and heat, here is the scoop: MacGyver visits Beakman's World and brings along his 3-pound box of kosher salt. Hilarity ensues.

But try pitching that to a network.

Alton's professional career has included motion picture camera work in addition to directing commercials and music videos. He put all that on hold to go to culinary school FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE of making "Good Eats." He pitched the show to several networks and almost signed a deal with the Discovery Channel before a last minute phone call from someone at Food Network offered him a shot. But there was a catch... they wanted him in front of the camera. Along with an amazing crew of researchers and talent that includes his wife and executive producer DeAnna, Alton did what he started out to do... create a new kind of cooking show. One that teaches the "whys" as well as the "hows."

"What I would really love to see is for American cooks to stop being recipe followers and become hackers... to improvise, to invent and find new ways to get from point A to point D... and through that process--discover," Alton told me over dinner.

What Alton just told me is pretty important to him. It is one of the prime directives for his show. But you're not thinking about that, you're thinking "How the hell did you score a dinner with Alton Brown, you dot-com dullard?!" I'd love to tell you that we actually have some journalistic skills here at Brian's Belly and that persistence combined with the proper amount of swag scored me a sit down interview. But alas, that is not the case. I scored some steak and brew time with A.B. and his mother, Phyllis Sauls, by being in the right place at the right time (a.k.a. "dumb luck") and the fact that I run a pretty damn good Web site about food (a.k.a. "Brian's Belly"). But enough about me stalk... err, scoring an interview.

So what's all this about hackers? Alton is known for the hack... adopting, adapting and improving his recipes, utensils and accoutrements. "I think that my desire to change appliances and hack tools comes from seeing problems in systems."

One of Alton's most well-known modifications is the Weber kettle grill he turned into a blast furnace. "The whole thing with the Weber grill came out of wanting to sear tuna steaks. When you sear tuna you need a lot of heat, and so I used to just mound a huge pile of charcoal into my grill and get it going really hot and fire my tuna.

"And then one night after I walked away I realized that all that charcoal was still burning, and I thought 'this is silly. I've wasted all this heat, all this fuel.' And I thought 'well, how do I get around that?' So I started studying charcoal... and realized it doesn't actually burn, it is a catalyst for the burning of oxygen. So I thought 'okay, then there ought to be a way to increase more oxygen to the catalyst and decrease the catalyst.' That led me to blacksmithing where they use a bellows. I realized that all I had to do was supply more fuel across the catalyst and I'd be able to get the same amount of heat in a much shorter period of time for a fraction of the charcoal."

Exactly one hair dryer and one piece of tailpipe later, Alton had his blast furnace... a grill that got hotter faster and with less resources. And I thought I was clever when I added a thermometer to my Weber kettle grill.

"That is generally the method of problem solving that I go through... I want to get this done, what have I got to do it, and what do I need to learn to make it happen? And so that's what always leads to the hack. Oh, and I'm a cheap bastard and didn't want to buy any more charcoal."

But hacking a grill for more heat is just the beginning. Two years ago, General Electric (the company, not an actual general) called Alton and asked if he would come teach them a thing or two. "They said their engineers want to know more about food, what happens to food when it cooks and what kind of heat food needs. So I started going to Louisville, KY, where their big appliance park is and started teaching. I would go up every few months with a new subject about potatoes, cookies, souffles--whatever it was--and what role heat played in the equation. It really worked for me because at the time I was working on 'I'm Just Here For the Food' which is a book about heat."

Eventually Alton got focused down to a top secret project to develop a new super-oven, which was taught how to think about food categories. Okay, I added the words "top secret" to get your attention, but "super-oven" sounds just about right.

"Algorithms!" Alton says, as if it were as incredible as 1.21 jigawatts, "we had to develop algorithms so that an oven that's going to apply radiant, convection and microwave heat at one time, or alternating as energies would know how to do it for whatever food it was cooking." And I thought my first Video Toaster in 1991 was a paradigm shift. Next, Alton will probably teach SkyNet to become self-aware. Can spread-spectrum spoons, Star Trek food replicators and soylent green be far behind?

The sci-tech references here are not without merit. The user-friendly Alton Brown is highly regarded over at Slashdot, a recent feature in Wired magazine called Alton "the mad scientist of the culinary world," and Brian's Belly called him "the Buckaroo Banzai of food science" (we're hoping to be quoted somewhere). A Google search for "Alton Brown" yields more results than one for "Emeril LaGasse." Although that is not defining, it shows that Alton is a chef that scores big points with the tech-savvy Internet generation.


Oscillation Overthruster Flux Capacitor Spring-loaded tongerators


Ford truck into a Jet Car De Lorean into a time machine Kettle Grill into a blast furnace


Electro-nuclear "This sucker is electrical." Charcoal


Hong Kong Cavaliers Marty McFly Sister Marsha, "W"


Dr. Emilio Lizardo, Hanoi Xan Biff Tannen, Griff Tannen, Mad Dog Tannen Cross contamination, sweet potatoes


"No matter where you go, there you are." "Great Scott!" "...but that's another show."


"What's that watermelon doing there?" "Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a De Lorean?" "Why?"

Alton has adapted his own protocol (1394 AB) for transferring data from his brain to his audience's brain... treating his ingredients as software, his tools as hardware and his recipe as an application. "Are you a computer geek as well as a food geek?" I ask, as we finish our first round of drinks.

"I am not a computer geek, although I own five Macintoshes at last count."

"He buys one every four months," his mother interrupts. "No, I do not mother. My mother is a liar. And she has Alzheimers. So she's wrong. I buy a new Mac once a year." Alton is joking, at least I hope... yes, he is joking... just like he joked with the audience during his class ("pressure cookers don't work very well when they're still in the box") and just like he joked with me when I told him who I represented ("Oh, well then we know you're not buying dinner... dot commers have got nothing but Aeron chairs and overdue bills.") Yeah, joking.

"What I do like is adapting vernacular. It is not that I'm a computer geek, it's that I'm obsessed with different sub-culture vernacular and it just so happens that the computer industry and culture has a lot of great terminologies that they have invented... and so I adapt them. It's not because I am a part of them, although I think I understand something of that brain box. It's been said that I think of recipes as open code, and I like that because with open code the opportunity exists for constant deviation, constant evolution, constant revolution... and I'd like to see that in cooking."

Although Alton has some clever, improvisational recipes, he's not known for any particular dish that he makes, nor for being too fancy. "What is your favorite food?" someone asked him during our earlier class. "Hamburgers!," Alton's mother Phyllis yelled from the kitchen behind him. "No mother..." Alton remarked, reminiscent of Hitchcock's Norman Bates, "...cheeseburgers." French fries hold a close second.

I hesitate to call Alton a chef, because food scientist seems more accurate and sci-co (science cook) seems more witty. Also the forward of his first book begins: "Let's get one thing straight right up front. I am not a chef." If he could choose his own job title he states, it would be culinary cartographer; brandishing a map--not directions--to cooking so that you are free to choose your own path to the end result. Appellations aside, he's gone from cook to cameraman to culinary school (the New England Culinary Institute in Montpelier, VT) but where in that schooling did he pick up the science aspect?

We Have a Winner:
Alton's first book "I'm Just Here For the Food" was winner of a James Beard Award in May, 2003. Basically, this is a thumbs-up from the hard-core food community.

"The science part came from not getting the answers I needed when I was in culinary school or in the restaurant work that followed. Most of my 'whys?' pretty much went unanswered. So I just started looking and talking to whoever had answers.

"Most chefs don't know how to articulate [the science aspect]. They feel it in their bones, they understand it enough to do it. Knowing how to do something and knowing how to explain it are two very different things. Yes, on one level a lot of great chefs don't know what I know; i.e. they can't explain to you the molecular reasons that water boils... they don't care. It doesn't serve them to know. Most chefs don't need to understand heat transfer, they just want to know when the ribs are done. Because I am primarily an educator, because I am primarily a groovy Home-Ec teacher, I do have to know it. If I have a talent at all, and I'm not saying that I do, but if I do, it is that I have an ability--hopefully--to transfer factual realities into easy-to-digest knowledge. I am a translator of reality, of cooking reality and to something that people can go 'oh, all right... I get that.'"

It's becoming clear that Alton has a certain humble quality... but "modest scientist" doesn't have the same impact as "mad scientist" so you don't hear about it too much. Whether modest or mad, Alton indeed makes cooking interesting for geeks like me who need to know everything. I'd like to know everything. I currently don't know everything, but I am on track to by 2012. Then the Mayans come back and will hopefully bring us some more interesting things to learn.

Prior to attending his cooking class, I would never have considered making pasta. But as I watch Alton mix and roll his own, I start to think that I could actually do this myself. Coming from a background that was devoid of an Italian grandmother, no one ever made me fresh pasta or fresh sauce. Now I want to do both, not just because I like to cook but because I like to hack--and I learn that if I combine an ironing board with a pasta machine I will create the perfect pasta-rolling platform for the home.

In his new book, "Alton Brown's Gear For Your Kitchen," Alton partially relies on tools from other trades to get the job done. Using such unlikely items as a plumber's propane torch for charing, a gardener's flowerpot as cookware, and a carpenter's cordless screw gun that--when combined with an ordinary pepper mill--begets the "Grind-O-Matic 5000." "The gear we choose defines us" says the author.

But the book does more than hack the garbage you may have around the house. It includes the daily utensils that everyone has in their kitchen drawers (even single bachelors in one-room apartments) as well as the stuff I've never heard of (who knew a Mandolin was for cutting potatoes? I thought it was a tiny guitar... or harp, or something). Admittedly, the book covers gear that a lot of us Brian's Belly guys will never use. This doesn't mean stick with your spatula and never want for more... in fact, reading through it made me wonder how I've lived for so long and never owned spring-loaded tongs.

Alton likes to define himself as a hacker, not an inventor. But as he speaks about the new line of Trivection ovens that he helped design it becomes clear that he will help usher in a new era of cooking appliances. "One of the reasons I have a relationship with GE is to actualize those inventions. They've got the brain boxes to make things happen, and the funding and whatnot."

Modifying devices to make life easier (or cheaper, or better) is an admirable skill. In conceptualizing new hardware, Alton is crossing the defining line he drew into inventing. So when we add inventor to the list that already includes scientist, teacher, writer, creator, host, prop comic, and--whether he likes it or not--chef, we begin to see a real renaissance man here. However, given the chance, Alton will debate you on each of those labels always concluding that he is no more than a groovy Home-Ec teacher.

"I would certainly love to be [a renaissance man]. If I have heroes... Theodore Roosevelt ("Do what you can, where you are, with what you have"), Thomas Jefferson ("It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing") and a renaissance man if there ever was one, Leonardo Da Vinci ("With my big dipper machine I'll rule the world! Nah ha ha ha!"). Yeah, a renaissance man would be sweet. Renaissance man just means somebody who is loyal to no particular discipline who learns what he does and applies it to everything else he does."

"But that's what you're doing!" I almost shout. "Okay, well then that's what a renaissance man is, only most famous renaissance men get paid really well for it and they have a whole lot of talent. My only talent--I already told you--is being able to translate things. I think to live a full life, the idea of doing just one thing or being interested in one thing is drab. Maybe if I was really, really, really, really, really good at one thing... like Earnest Hemingway good or Picasso good at something it would be enough, but I'm not, so I have to be a salad bar. The people that I envy are either the people that have excelled at many things or the people that have been unequaled at specific things."

Could this article BE any longer?

Alton has a tatoo of a bee on his left shoulder based on a work by artist Mark Ryan. Alton's company is named "BeSquare Productions." Coincidence? Probably not... the words are spelled differently.
It seems natural while we're talking over a couple of beers that the conversation will eventually turn to beer. This is good for me since our site is about food and beer. In a season-six episode, Alton tackled brewing your own (yes, beer is good eats) and put our own BIY article to shame. We happen to be drinking Hoegaarden (cause I knew you'd ask) but we're all over the place with our beer discussion and opinions. Since you can find out what I think all over this site, why don't I tell you what the celebrity thinks.

"The difference between someone who really appreciates beer and a beer snob is that someone who really appreciates beer will learn, understand and accept a wide range to the exclusion of nothing. Someone that learns and then uses their knowledge to exclude other things I see as a snob. Okay, if you don't like Bud don't drink Bud, but don't drink Bud because it's not hoity-toity microbrew. A lot of people in this country will drink a Foster's not realizing that in Australia, Foster's is held in lower regard than Bud is here. I don't how many times at home I've had sushi and Bud for lunch. When you taste something like Budweiser--which is mostly rice--and start tasting other beers like it, i.e. Japanese beers, you realize that they actually go well together.

"When I want to taste complex beer with a heady aroma, that's finely crafted, I'm not drinking Bud. You know what, I'd rather have a Bud than a Diet Coke for God sakes! I know that after mowing the lawn on a Sunday afternoon that a Bud tastes better than a Samuel Adams, it tastes better than an Anchor Steam, it tastes better than a Red Hook ESB, it tastes better than a Sierra Nevada, it tastes better than any of a hundred different regional microbrews I can name... all of which I like... but I really just want something kind of beer-like, you know (laughs)."

Maybe the beer is finally kicking in, but it is time to ask the big question... the one that I came here for and the one that everyone at Brian's Belly has been dying to know... "Where do you shop for your shirts?"

"Nordstrom! And there's a men's shop, right across the street from the W [Hotel] at Union Square... I buy shirts there whenever I'm in town. Some of them come from the Internet, and the rest of them my wife finds. I'm a very boring dresser. I could wear a black Gap tee shirt with jeans or khakis every day and that'd be fine by me... I hate thinking about clothes but on 'Good Eats' we need to have a little style, so we do what we have to do.

Manna for tech heads:

The show is shot on DVCAM. Small DV handicams are used for the oven shots and then bumped-up to match the industrial stuff. Pots and pans are wired for sound and Alton typically wears up to three mics. The show is off-lined on an Avid Express with three terabytes of storage, then color corrected and finished on an Avid Symphony and ouput at 1:1 to digibeta for broadcast. Then satellite and cable systems compress the shit out of it and you see the equvalent of digital corned beef hash.

The stylish textiles are only part of the show that could be a sitcom if it had a sexy sous chef and a laugh track. "What can we expect to see on the next season of 'Good Eats?' A new wacky neighbor? An episode where you sing? How about a very special episode where you get a 2nd degree burn and have to be rushed to the emergency room?" I ask.

"Well, oddly enough the singing and the emergency room are already in the works, so funny that you should mention that. Immediate shows in the pipeline... a show on lemon meringue pie, a show on herbs, a show on spices... a show on--this is my favorite--toast. We have a show on bananas, a show on nuts, we have a one-hour special on cheese... as in 'who cut the.'

"I'm hoping to start doing a series of one-hour documentaries about food issues... important things going on [in the food industry] like irradiation, genetic engineering and food-borne illnesses, as well as serious looks at foods that have histories that are simply too fascinating to ignore. So I'm hoping to actually turn half-journalist. There is a lot going on in the food world that people need to know. I think that Food Network has a responsibility to not just entertain, but also to do some hard, fast informing."

With nary a repeated topic in over 100 episodes, "Good Eats" has no signs of stopping, but Alton is ready when it does. "Hopefully [after the show is over] I'll rise from the ashes and do something good, I don't want to just recycle myself. I'd like to think I can do more than one thing."

"Good Eats" can be seen Sun at 9:30AM, 6:30PM, 10PM, 1AM & 3:30AM, Wednesday's at 9PM & 12 Midnight, Sat at 9:30AM & 5:30PM on Food Network. All times listed are eastern (because we have the best time zone).

Baked Meatballs
By Belly Buddy Alton Brown

Why do so many recipes call for cooking meatballs in liquid? Don't they know that they're just mini meatloaves? Cooking meatballs in a mini muffin pan ensures even browning and doneness--and excess fat drips down into the well where it can do no harm.


Large mixing bowl
Dry-measuring cups
Measuring spoons
#70 ice cream disher
Round-bottomed coffee
Mini-muffin tins


1 (10 ounce) package frozen spinach
1 pound ground pork
1 pound ground lamb
1 pound ground round
1 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon dried basil
1 tablespoon dried parsley
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 cups dry breadcrumbs

Preheat the oven to 400F. Place the spinach in a strainer and allow it to thaw, squeezing it to remove any remaining liquid. Place the spinach in a large mixing bowl and add the ground pork, ground lamb, ground round, Parmesan, eggs, basil, parsley, garlic powder, red pepper, salt, and 1/2 cup of the breadcrumbs. Use your hands to mix everything together.

Using a #70 ice cream disher (its bowl holds just under 1/2 ounce), scoop portions of the meat mixture and shape into balls. Place some breadcrumbs in the bottom of a coffee cup and roll the meatballs in the crumbs, 1 meatball at a time, to coat well. Replenish the breadcrumbs as needed.

Place the meatballs in the muffin tins--one per cup--and bake, shaking the tins a couple of times, for 15 minutes, or until golden and cooked through.

Yield: About 48 meatballs.


Grill-Friendly Pizza Dough
By Belly Buddy Alton Brown

Everybody loves pizza from a wood-fired oven, but not too many people have them. They do, however, have grills. Toppings could include pepperoni, grated Parmesan, tomato sauce, caramelized onions, artichoke hearts...


Measuring spoons
Digital Scale
2 large, deep metal mixing bowls
Small mixing bowl
Wet-measuring cups
Large wooden spoon
Plastic wrap
Dough cutter
Rolling pin


1 packet instant yeast
1 pound all-purpose flour, plus more for kneading and rolling out
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 cup hot water
2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more to oil the dough

Combine the yeast, flour, sugar, and salt, in that order, in a large mixing bowl. In a small mixing bowl combine the water and olive oil and then stir into the flour mixture with a large wooden spoon until a dough starts to form. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead by hand for 10 minutes, or until the dough develops a silky texture.

Oil the surface of the dough and place it in another large metal mixing bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 1/2 hours. Divide the dough in half and with a rolling pin roll the dough out onto a lightly floured surface.

Heat grill to medium-low, Cook the dough on one side until firm and lightly browned, then turn, add your favorite toppings, and cook until lightly browned on the other side.

Yield: Two 12-inch pizzas

AltonBrown.com Good digital eats that include desktop images and a weblog updated by A.B.
"Good Eats" at Food Network Recent episode guide to help nab the recipes you missed.
"I'm Just Here For the Food: Food + Heat = Cooking" Alton's first book.
"Alton Brown's Gear For Your Kitchen" Alton's second book.
Alton Brown Store at Food Network Featuring the "Good Eats" DVD boxed set, which seems to only be available through them.
Good Eats Fan Page The ultimate Alton afficionado.

Recipes courtesy Alton Brown and Stewart, Tabori & Chang.

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Last Edited on 08/27/2010