SCENE 1
Stephenson Family Farms: Vienna, GA - 9:03 am

GUESTS: Pigs

    [reading from George Orwell's, "Animal Farm", chapter 9 (out of 10), last paragraph] "No one stirred in the farmhouse before noon on the following day, and the word went round that from somewhere or other the pigs had acquired the money to buy themselves another case of whisky."

AB: Now we'll finish this up next week but in the mean time I don't want you bossing the other animals around or it's right back to three little pigs, I swear. You guys listening to me?
PIGS: Oink, oink, snort.
AB: Okay. Good.

    For those of you from other planets, these are pigs.

    Well, funny I should ask because we've chosen the loin ribs, or baby backs, as base camp for a number of episodes dedicated to exploring the endless possibilities of pork. So stick around. This, not to mention these [indicats pigs], are definitely good eats.

SCENE 2
Metzger's Meat Market: Marietta*, GA - 11:45 am

GUESTS: Richard Metzger, Butcher
              Fed Agents

    While I wouldn't exactly call it another white meat, pork does pale in comparison to both beef and lamb. The reason, as Mr. Spock would say, is logical.

    They're also pretty modern animals. They've changed with the times. They've kept up with popular demand. They've become leaner, cleaner, healthier on the hoof and on the plate. Yet still, when we meet head to snout at fine establishments like this, we have "a fayh-yuh to communicate." Which is why we are here visiting my good friend and butcher, Richard Metzger who is going to take us on a little tour of the porcine rib cage.

AB: How you doing, Richard?
RICHARD METZGER: All right. How are you?
AB: I'm doing fine. So, what's the deal?

AB: Why do they call them, Saint Louis cuts?
RM: I have no idea.
AB: Ever been to Saint Louis?
RM: No.
AB: Well, next time I go I'm going to ask them. So, culinarily speaking: spare ribs, baby backs. What's the difference in how you cook them and how they taste.

AB: Okay, let me make sure I've got this straight now just so that I'm clear. When we look at the whole rib cage action there, if we were on the inside of the pig it would all look like this.
RM: Um, hm.
AB: The spine would be up here. So the first cut is the baby back which goes off the loin. And then that would leave the whole spare rib. You cut off the bottom and you get the Saint Louis rib.
RM: Saint Louis rib.
AB: Now beyond this would be belly, bacon, right?

AB: Ah, don't you just love pigs? Well, I'll tell you what, Richard. I'm going to go with four of these guys if you'd wrap them up for me.
RM: All right.
AB: Thanks a lot.
RM: Thank you.

    You see, luckily I've got a butcher who is my friend and takes care of me. You know, if haven't made friends with your butcher, you really ought to think about it because friends don't let friends buy junk. Of course, these days quite a few markets are choosing to sell ribs in their original cryovac containers. This is how they are packaged by the packer. Now this is okay by me. Because not only is this more economical, but properly refrigerated it will keep two, three even four weeks. Now look for packs of either two ribs or four.

    Now you'll notice when you shop for pork you're not going to find any quality grades: no select, no prime, no choice. They just don't go pork that way. If you want an explanation, just go ask a Fed.

Hernando de Soto brought 13 pigs to Florida in 1525.
Today only China has a greater swine population.

SCENE 3
Big Pig Jig: Vienna, GA - 5:00 pm

    Ask any porcine professional and they'll tell you the key to rib flavor is in a miraculous mixture of salt, pepper, herbs and spices called a dry rub. Add a little smoke and you've divine device called a barbeque.
    The road to barbeque Mecca has led this pork pilgrim deep into the belly of Georgia. It his here at the annual Big Pig Jig where we hope to rub shoulders with seventh level dry rub rib masters, loosen up their lips with some beer and steal all their secrets.

Jeff Randal's Stand at the Big Pig Jig

AB: Rubs are really kind of, uh, I guess the secret to this barbeque, huh?
JEFF RANDALL: Yeah, it is a secret.
AB: That's your rub there, I guess.
JR: Exactly.
AB: You want to tell me what's in your rub there, Jeff?
JR: [gives that "eat-death" look]

Stan Blaxton and Eddie Moreland's Stand at the Big Pig Jig

AB: I guess the secret is in your rub, huh?
STAN BLAXTON & EDDIE MORELAND: [nod heads]
AB: Yeah? Um, you want to tell me what's in it?
SB & EM: [shake heads]
AB: No.

 

Myron Mixon's Stand at the Big Pig Jig

AB: What's your secret?
MYRON MIXON: The key to it is the rub right here.
AB: Ah, the magic dust. So, um, you going to tell me what's in your rub, Myron?
MM: I'd either have to kill you later or marry you one. Looks like you're already married.
AB: Yeah.

SCENE 4
The Kitchen

    So, what did we learn? Well, we learned that pro barbequers besides being impervious to bribery by beer are unsharing and, well, slightly paranoid when it comes to their rub voodoo. Well, I say we've got science and science kicks voodoo's butt any ole day of the week. We'll make our own darn rub.

    Now, it doesn't matter if we're dealing with grams or tons or bushels. It doesn't matter as long as it is the correct number of parts. So we can use anything to measure this. For instance the lid off this well placed box of bamboo forks. I have no idea what measurement that is but it's perfect.
    Now it's important when you scoop this stuff [light brown sugar] that you kind of pack it down because as you can see it gets a lot of air underneath it. So just pack it down and count to eight. One. Two. Eight. Eight parts light brown sugar. Moving down the line we've got three parts of kosher salt. One part of chili powder.

Unlike powdered chiles, chili powder also contains herbs and spices.

    Now, seal up nice and tight in a Mason jar or some other jar that you've washed and shake to combine. Now right now, this is kind of like a no frills automobile. It's a rub, but it's basic, you know. It's the chassis, wheels, roof, that's about it. As far as the add-ons go, you know, CD player, wire, wheel covers, seat warmers, that kind of thing, well, that's the plus one part of the equation. And that is completely up to you. You could use just about anything. You could use another part of chili powder if you wanted to.

    Now, that goes on top and again we cover and shake. Now sealed up tight in this jar if you keep it away from heat or really bright light like sun light, this will last until bell-bottoms come back again. And, oh, note a Good Eats refinement, here, one lid for sealing and underneath one for shaking. Cool, huh?

    Now lay each slab out on its own big piece of heavy duty aluminum foil and make sure that the shiny side is down. That will make the heat come in just a little bit slower which is good. Now, lay on the rub and don't be prissy about it. Contact is critical. Now despite the name, rubbing is not actually necessary. But a little of patting along the way will make sure that plenty of contact is being made. There. Push on and flip. Now this other side doesn't matter quite as much so don't go overboard. It's mostly the convex side that we're after.
    Why aluminum foil? Well, because we can basically shape the "pan" to fit the food which is a good thing. And of course, you don't have to wash it. I love that. So, bring it right up in the middle and just fold it over once and then push down. We don't want to do any fancy crimping because we've got to get back into these to add some liquid latter. There.

    Now, wash those porky hands.

Any raw meat can be the bearer of Microbial bad news,
so wash hot, soapy, and often.

SCENE 5
The Kitchen

"Big Bill", the largest hog on record, reached 9 feet and 2,500 pounds in 1933.

    [working under the sink] The sensuous unctuousness that compels us to lick our fingers when rib eating, comes from a power deep within the ribs themselves. Gelatin. Now all animal muscle is made up of bunches of fibers held together in place by various connective tissue. Now some cuts like tenderloin don't do much work so they don't have a lot of connective tissue. But other cuts including our ribs that either work a lot or have a lot of bone, do have a lot of connective tissue.

    Now they are all surrounded by connective tissues just like these wires are surrounded by insulation. But they're not all alike. See, some of these tissues don't do much but draw up and get chewy when cooked. We'll call those gristle. But others, say these red guys here, well, they're coated in a protein called collagen. And under the right circumstances, collagen dissolves into gelatin, the stuff that makes ribs so finger lickin' good and brings body to homemade stocks. It even helps gelatin dishes to set. As a matter of fact Jell-O is originally named after gelatin.

    Minutes up and everything is melted up. Sugars have dissolved nicely. So all we've got to do is introduce this to the ribs. Now we don't have to unwrap everything. Just open up one end of the crimp and kind of turn it into a funnel. It looks like a couple of big, silver, wide-mouth bass. Make sure that the opening is over the tray in case you do any spilling which I usually do. And half the liquid goes into this side and half the liquid goes into this side. And just give the tray a little bit of a tilt just to kind of distribute everything down there ... hear it gurgle, gurgle ... then crimp up the ends.

[Alton is reading "The Physiology of Taste: Or Meditations on Transcendental Gastronomy" by Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin]

    Well, the timer says the braise is done. But there's really only one way to know for sure and that's to look and feel. So, slide out your rack and just open up one end of one of the pouches. Now you can do this with paper towels but I'm trying to sacrifice myself for science here. There.

    So I'm going to get my saucier out but you can use any wide pan and just lay ... [the rib foil is still hot] ahh ... lay the packet right in the middle of the pan like that and take your kitchen shears and just snip a hole in the foil. It's like opening a nice barrel of wine. It will drain right out.
    Now all in all I'd say we've got about a cup and a half of liquid back out of this. And those are fine liquid assets indeed. Because after about five maybe ten minutes on high heat, this is going to convert down to a beautiful rich glaze that's going to have a lot of clinging power. It's going to stick to the ribs better than any barbeque sauce you could ever buy.

Commercial barbecue sauces make questionable glazes
because they contain so much sugar, which burns easily.

    Ten minutes later and a humble braising liquid is reduced down to a barbeque sauce that's suitable for bottling and selling for six bucks a shot. Of course that would probably require a special licenses and permits so we'll just stick to this. Get this off of the heat, by the way. Because when it gets to this consistency, the next step is burn and it happens very quick.
    So, let's go ahead and open up the ribs but do not remove them from the foil. The foil is actually going to help us get them colored once they are under the broiler. Now grab your nearest basting brush—this is the only way—and literally paint the glaze right on to the meat. Just like that. It's literally like painting a house. You really don't want to get a super thick layer on there or it will definitely burn.
    This goes under the broiler. But I'm not about to tell you how long. The reason is I don't want you to walk away from this even for a minute. Because in as little as 30 seconds that sugar is going to start to bubble on top that's in the glaze. It's going to start to caramelize. And in as little as a minute, it's going to be brown. Ten more seconds and it will be black. So keep a very close eye on it.

Card carrying bone-chewers may want to briefly
broil the concave side of their ribs too.

SCENE 6
The Kitchen

During the 18th century, scrap-munching pigs contributed
to the beauty of Paris, by acting as garbage men.

    Now, there are a lot of rib shacks out there that would probably just plop this right on the plate as is. They buy these huge plates and just lay them out. It's impressive but it's kind of tricky to eat. So what I like to do is to separate everything into two rib chunks. It also makes it a lot easier to glaze but that's getting ahead of myself. So just look down at the bones, turn it bump side up and just slice right in between the bones about every two.
    Put a little bit of the hot glaze right in the bottom of a stainless steel bowl, biggest one you've got and just add the ribs and toss them in with the sauce. Just lay them all out and kind of toss around just to make sure that everything is evenly coated. That way everyone will guaranteed of the correct proportion of meat to sauce in every lovin' bite. There we go. That's it.
    Now, usually when I dine on ribs I do it right in the kitchen. Why? Well, there are drapes in the dining room, if you get my drift. So, plate goes down and I see absolutely no reason to put anything on it but ribs.
    Now, for you devote pit-men out there I would like you to note that never in this program have we referred to these luscious ribs as "barbeque" because they are not. Barbeque requires smoke. And of course, we did not use smoke.

    I'm Alton Brown. This is Good Eats. So is this. And you might want to look away again.

†It appears he meant episodes involving pigs such as Chops Ahoy, Scrap Iron Chef-Bacon Challenge, Ham I Am, and the like.

*Actually, at the time these scenes were shot, Metzger's Meat Market was located on Highway 92 in Woodstock, GA which is adjacent to Marietta but not in it. In May, 2000, the small strip mall it was located in was gutted in a fire. (I know this because my neighborhood abuts the mall) According to their answering service, M. M. M. is currently (July, 2000) looking for a new location.
Follow-up: As of today (Dec., 2002), Metzger's is still not in business and does not appear they will return.

**Jalapeño seasoning is a mixture that's available at many markets across the U.S. If you can't find it, use half of the called for amount of ground jalapeno. (AB, FN Forum, Post 41.1)

Last Edited on 06/07/2013