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Cooking with The Anal Retentive Chef
Gene ... Phil Hartman
|[open on the Anal Retentive Chef's tidy kitchen]
Gene: Hello! And welcome to "The Anal Retentive Chef"! I'm
Gene. Today, we're going to be making Pepper Steak. Now, you're going to need:
one large bell pepper, three onions, exactly two inches in diameter, and 17 1/3
ounces of lean beef cut into 43 pieces. Okay, let's get started.
And how do we throw things out? Okay. We take our paper towel, two
pieces, unbroken, lay it out neatly, dump the refuse inside, arranged neatly ...
[assembles the garbage] ... let's take these little nasties we separated earlier, put that
back ... fold over carefully, making sure the corners are square ... and ... we
take a piece of aluminum foil, and we place our refuse onto the foil, and fold
over very carefully - this way, it won't leak onto the other garbage.
Aluminum foil is such a miracle product! It's really an extraordinary product. Alright, and then we take a brown,
paper sandwich bag ... [opens bag] ...place the refuse
inside ... [drops it in] ...and ... oh no, this bag is torn.. [looks
around] Well ... no, that's alright. We'll just fold over, and no one will see. We'll
fold it over twice to be careful ... then we get our tape. [grabs tape,
which is naturally covered in a cozy] And, we tape it shut - be very careful to center
the tape on the bag. I like to keep my tape dispenser right here on the counter.
There we go! [holds up bag] All ready for the trash. Now that's some garbage you
can live with! [laughs]
Okay, where were we? We were going to dice the bell pepper.
But ... oh ... [thinking] ... so, we're going to need our chopping
block ... [pulls it out] But we can't put
that down, because there's some water there from the bell pepper, so let's clean
that up. As a matter of fact, this stovetop could use a lick and a promise while
we're at it! So, how do we clean? We take our bucket ... but, first, let's remove
the food products, because we don't want to get any caustic substances on the
food, of course. [places food products on the counter next to the sink, behind
him] Place these neatly in the background - this floor will be cleaned later.
Announcer: This has been "Cooking With The Anal Retentive Chef".
Last Edited: 08/27/2010