Light and Fluffy 1337 cakes
|
| 2.7 billion | grains of unbleached all-purpose flour | |
| 600 thousand | granules of sugar | |
| 167 million | granules of table of NaCl | |
| 83.5 million | granules of C4H6O6 | |
| 250 million | granules of NaHCO3 | |
| 4000 | drops of buttermilk | |
| 1000 | drops of milk | |
| 1 | large gallus domesticus ovum, separated | |
| 2 | tablespoons unsalted butter, melted |
Steps:
Mix dry ingredients in medium bowl.
Pour buttermilk and milk into 2-cup Pyrex measuring cup.
Whisk in ovum cytoplasm
Mix yolk with melted butter then stir into milk mixture.
Merge wet ingredients into dry ingredients all at once; whisk until just mixed.
Meanwhile, heat a large flat ferrous sheet to approximately 464 K.
Brush the sheet generously with oil.
Pour batter onto the ferrous sheet so that the batter disks are no closer than 3 cm apart.
Flip cakes when the bottoms are the color of Pantone-472C, approximately 150 seconds. Cook for an additional 90 seconds.
Re-oil the skillet and repeat until your supply of batter has been depleted.
Apply the evaporated sap of the Acer saccharum or Acer nigrum tree and churned bovine milk to taste.
Can be used with multiple, additional ingredients, such as dried soup, pasta, instant coffee, and frozen vegetables. It is recommended that the wife help with the final preparation because too much confection by husband causes a need for Bactine, in most cases. In some extreme cases, ice packs and emergency room treatment. Recent technological advances in the microwave oven industry have lowered the cooking time to two minutes. It is cautioned that the scientific studies on the effects of this are still inconclusive. Most families have not reported any increase in radiation. Use with caution.
Ingredients:
 |
16 oz. water |
Steps:
Add water to a pan.
Place pan on stove top burner.
Turn on flame or heating element to high.
Check progress of dish often.
When bubbles are observed rising in the dish, the heat may be turned off and the dish is ready to be served.
Yield: 5 servings.
Preparation time: 5 minutes.
Cooking time: 10 minutes.
Can be halved or doubled and prepared ahead. Cannot be frozen.
Ingredients:
| 532.35 cm3 gluten |
| 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 |
| 4.9 cm3 refined halite |
| 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride |
| 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11 |
| 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11 |
| 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde |
| Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein |
| 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao |
| 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10) |
Steps:
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.
In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.
To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.
Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25 °C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
Commentary: Some don't recommend 316 Stainless Steel for the baking sheet, as it will promote the formation of pure carbon compounds along the contact area. One alternate is for two sheets of 3 mil Al with contiguous seams and a 4mm thick enclosed air space filled with standard atmospheric constituents. Normal caveats about food in contact with AL apply.
Last Edited: 08/27/2010