Da lamb-leg is always burnin'
On somebody else's grill.
You dream about bakin' bacon
On your Bar-B-Q, but still:
You can't seem to find da courage
To try dat new recipe!
Knee-deep in da cookin' carnage
Your food ain't what it should be.
Chorus:
Let's watch AB
On FoodTV!
Dat guy is jokin'
Roastin' an' smokin',
Yes, you'll agree!!
De ot'ers cook up whites and yolks
Dey got da juice, but not da jokes!
Time is a-wasin'
Don't spend it bastin'
Let's watch GE!
To cook food is kind o' simple
As long as you know da rules.
Some food—dat d'ere is da "Software",
And "Hardware"—dat is da tools.
Jus' look at da food around you,
No truffles or caviar!
Wit' care and a little science
I t'ink dat you will go far ...
Chorus:
Watchin' AB
On FoodTV
Make better batter,
Pizza dat's flatter,
I guarantee!
De ot'ers make da meat and fruits
Dey got da hooch, but not da hoots.
I t'ink I just can't
Pan-fry an eggplant
Wit'out AB.
So, watch AB!
Runnin' amok here
Roastin' a duck here
Watchin' GE!!
De ot'ers make da loaves and buns
Dey got da pith, but not da puns.
Don't even ask fools
'Bout multi-task tools,
Just watch GE!
Ol' Chuck got da roast
From dat GE host
Da Dude cook da food
AB make da tea
Good Eats got da beat
for both you and me
Wit' chalk-talk about livestock!
(Yeah)
An' Ol' Cousin Ray
He know how to play
Da blues on da strings
While AB, he sings
Ray may be a clown
But he sure git down
An' make dat guitar talk!!
Watchin' AB
D'ere on GE!
Drawings and beakers,
Cool shirts and sneakers
Fill us wit' glee!
About our food, there's nothin' missed
'Though he's no Anthropologist.
Ice-cream and custard
Don't get us flustered
We watch GE!
Watchin' GE
On FoodTV!
Dinosaur models
And plastic bottles:
Magic to see!
What do we do? We take a stand
As we wash off our chickeney hands!
Microbe defiance!
Solid food science!!
Watchin' AB!!!
Baby, it's finer
When you're a Briner
Take it from me!
We're all outrageous
Alliumophages*,
Searin' a fish steak
How much can we take?
I know it's loony,
But I miss Rooney!!
Watchin' AB!
