Which One Are You?
1) The Chef Wanna-Be’s
These are the folks who really like serious cooking (or think they'd like to
seriously cook) but could never get their hands around Emeril's "Grilled
Exotic and Wild Mushrooms with a Home-Cured Tasso Cream Sauce over Angel Hair Pasta"
or even just getting away from following simple Betty Crocker recipes
step-by-step all of the time.
These folks need a starting point--a 101 of the cooking world to get them
going and it’s something they haven’t been getting from the other cooking
shows. But watch out: a little knowledge is dangerous. They could be on their
way to chef-dom, or on their way to driving their spouse loco with
cross-experimenting dishes such as Pan Fried Chocolate Lava Muffins stuffed with
Stripped Bass in a Salt Dome ... it just won't work.
2) The Nerdy-Geekizoids
Knowledge is power and this group of Good Eats fans thrives on the trivia,
the facts and the information. They may never step foot in a kitchen except to
warm their McDonald’s French fries in the microwave, but oh how they love the
lore of Thanksgiving, the equations of Thermodynamics and the fact that some
corn is "horny". If Alton were teaching Animal Husbandry or the
Politics of Madagascar, they wouldn’t care as long as he provided tidbits of
trivia that would win folks large sums of cash on "Who Wants To Be a Gazillionaire?"
3) The Entertain-Me’s
Okay. Alton is cute. Alton’s talented. Alton’s got a sense of humor.
Alton’s on the scene, hip, there, with-it, on the button ... and he doesn’t
say, "Bam." Let’s face it, this is one heck of a show no matter how
you look at it. It goes places, sees things, does stuff. We aren’t behind a
range and kitchen counter for 30 minutes; we’re learning, we’re along for
the ride, we’re right there enjoying every minute of it.
The Entertain Me’s got tired of the same-old same-old and have latched on
to Good Eats with dinosaur teeth. They guffaw at Rooney’s many characters,
they giggle at W’s eye-cutting looks and Alton’s sarcasm, they wonder just
when Marsha will fall at the hands of her brother. Every (other) Wednesday night
(when not in holiday season), their VCR’s are humming with another stored
episode of a master piece. Oh, and they cook sometimes, too.
4) The Average Joes and Janes
This person falls for Good Eats Lox, Stock and Béchamel,
BUT these are middle of the road folk who like the many facets of the show. You might call
them a Recreational Cook, but they don't want to be chefs. They like to know a
few things to make their life easier, but aren’t nerdy enough to wear pen
protectors. They need some entertainment in the their lives but Good Eats is
only part of their Prime Time TV viewing.
These are well rounded folks who find a nice diversion in Good Eats, who
learn a thing or two and who might try some new gadget or method out in the
kitchen, but they aren't fanatical enough to make a web site about the show.
However, watch out. This person can easily morph into any of the other three
categories if s/he watches enough episodes — say, a season’s worth?
5) The Zealots and the Briners
Anyone can be a mere ‘fan’ of the show ... in their own way. But this
category is in a class by itself. Here we have the Chef Wanna-Be’s, Nerdy-Geekizoids
and Entertain-Me’s all rolled into one. These people, when they saw their
first episode, worried about themselves. They thought something was wrong with
their psyche because no one else around them understood their fascination about
a ‘cooking show’. Slowly, they came to accept themselves for who they were.
They joined Forums and Clubs and Message Boards and found others of their kind.
They stood proud with chins held high. They’d quote Mr. Brown in every day
conversation. They’d scour the world for Williams & Sonoma Cheese Graters
and call them, of all things, a Kosher Salt holder. They dreamed of Nutritional
Anthropologists popping up in fields of plenty explaining the
sordid history of,
well, everything.
The really devoted Zealots — known as Briners — have seen every
single, bloomin’ episode. And they smile with an inner satisfaction and peace
whilst nodding their heads to the younger minions saying, "yes, it
is worth
seeing every show ... several times." A few would even go forth unto the
land and set up web pages calling for others to change their cooking habits, to
never cook without a probe thermometer and to petition Food Network that their
guru, Swami Alton Brown, should never be pre-empted ... never, yea never again!
